All Has Been Lost
by PrincessOdin
Summary: It has been fifty years. Her master never came back. Integra has died from old age. A new passion is lit within the young vampire. One-shot and rated K  for now. May change if I feel I can make a story from it.


**A/N: I had just finished reading the Hellsing Ultimate manga when this idea hit me. I had to re-write the entire thing like five times because my laptop kept shutting off so i am sorry if it doesn't feel, i don't know, right. Sorry if she seems OOC and if she does i blame it on time. Anyway i won't keep you any longer, please enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: If i owned Hellsing i wouldn't be writing fanfiction now would i?**

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><p><em>Alone.<em>

That is the first thing the crosses my mind as I gaze sadly down at Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Her lifeless eyes stare blankly at the ceiling, her hands gripping the bedsheets in a last hold on this world. We both knew this day would come. Humans always disappeared in the end and it had been almost fifty years since Millennium had been defeated. Now I stand over the last thing I had to live for. The last reason to keep fighting.

I reach up and gently brush her eyelids closed, smiling slightly at her still stern features. Even through aging and in death she still holds her beautiful, commanding, and disciplined charm from her younger years. She had been the perfect leader, the perfect woman, the perfect model to look up to. She could have been like a mother figure to me, if only she held the maternal traits necessary.

I lower my head and bite my lip to stifle the sobs, not bothering to wipe away the blood stained tears that slowly slide down me cheeks.

_Everything has been lost._

Walter, my friend and tutor. The one I could always count on if something went wrong. During the war his mind had been wiped clean, all memories of how he once had been erased forever. His clutches on humanity had been ripped from him, turning him into a beast and thoughtless ravage. Everything he once was, torn from his mind and soul and causing him to become something inhumane. In his mind he thought he had become strong, the exact definition of an Angel of Death, but the process used to make him better also destroyed him. He died in the war, managing to save one last scrap of his former self before his body withered away. It disgusted me even to this day how easily he had been broken, but I did still miss his teasing smiles and sometimes not so reassuring opinions.

Pip Bernadotte, he once was the commander of the Wild Geese and one of my only friends. He had been lost, killed right infront of my blind form as he tried to save me. He always had been one to annoy and irritate me, causing me to snap or stammer at every crude comment. But at times I could look past his outer actions and see the charming sweet man on the inside. He fought and died with honor, earning both mine and those that survived from his team's eternal respect. His essence runs with mine as well, forever one and the same. Yet though I hold his memories, thoughts, feelings, and imagination inside of me, he will never again be there to tease or play around with. His soul, body, and heart are all gone, and I cherish the few remnants of his being. Who knows, maybe we could have been lovers if death hadn't so harshly ripped him away.

Alexander Anderson, the priest who fought tooth and nail to destroy the Hellsing organization. In the end, when he believed that a mere human could not destroy a monster, he sacrificed himself into becoming the very creature he despised the most. He allowed corruption to claim him if only he could destroy the one thing that always stood in his way. He gave his humanity in a vain attempt to do away with a beast. He was many things, brave, cowardly, strong, weak, steadfast, easily crumpled, but most of all a fool. Only humans can kill a monster, and he knew that, but changed himself at the last moment and threw away his chances. Maybe we could have been friends, on the extremely slim chances that he didn't try to kill me every time we came in contact, then maybe, just in the slightest of possibilities, we could have gotten along. But it's too late for that now.

So many faces flash through my mind, families I had saved from freaks, soldiers I had fought alongside in countless missions. Faces belonging to everyone and yet no one, faces that meant everything and yet nothing, faces that I could smile for and pray were having good lives and others I cried for after their deaths. Too many but not enough.

Now I had nothing. No one to look up to. No one to laugh with. No one to hold or be held by. No one to protect. No one to order around and no one to call my master.

_Master..._

_Alucard..._

He saved me and yet dammed me to eternal hell, but it was what I asked for. He gave me power and immortality, cursing me to watch the world pass before my eyes forever, but it was what I asked for. I had loved him from afar, knowing that the monster and child he was was incapable of such human feelings. Sometimes I wished to hold him or give him a light peck on the cheek, anything to tell him I would always be there for him, but I knew he would only laugh or tell me to not bother myself with such petty emotions. But even if I had promised to never leave him, that didn't mean he wouldn't leave me, and that is exactly what he did.

He just disappeared, gone forever. I tell myself day after day, night after night, that he will come back. But now I have stopped. I have stopped believing in false hopes, I have stopped believing in silly little dreams. And now that I am alone I must fend for myself, hiding away in dark crevices in order to not be found by other vampire hunters.

_No._

I will find my own master. I will become a monster worse than _him_. I will cause this world to tremble in fear and become the strongest most terrifying thing history has yet to face, and I will do it without _him_.

I stand up and look down at Integra, her head is tilted ever so slightly. I lean down, brushing my lips against her still warm skin, feeling my fangs rub the inside of my lips. Swiftly, I bite, draining the woman of her blood. She won't need it anymore, but I will. Her blood is sweet and rich, full of raw virginity. After all these years she kept it, and I feel myself smile at the thought.

I lift my face from under her jaw and run my tongue over my lips, wiping away the dark fluid that still clings. The tears that slowly stain my face do not stop, and right now I don't think they ever will. I smile one last time and allow the shadows to engulf me as I phase through the floor.

_The night is still young, the world still so pure, and my quest has yet to begin. And what better time than the present to start?_

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><p><strong>AN: Well here ya are. If anyone wants I might be able to turn it into a story. It could possibly take a while but I think I'll be able to pull it off. Please review so I know your opinions. Thanks.  
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